Back In Time

It seems like forever ago, but I’m not going to lie it was a rough time the beginning of my freshmen year. It was all something completely new to me. The lockers were a bit small but at least they were smaller than me so I didn’t get crammed into it but some random senior. The first couple of days were pretty rough, because I had to get the feel of everything so new to me. No matter it be the people around me, the new teachers, or even the hallways crowded full of people. Looking back on that it was an all-new experience to me, if I wouldn’t have come to school for first day I would have felt so out of place and wouldn’t have been able to get through everything all by myself. I’m glad I got to experience the first day of high school with all my good friends. It was probably one of the most nervous moments of my life. Especially whenever the bell rang that morning to say that we had started a new school year as a freshman in high school. My friends and I walked a little bit taller that day, except whenever some senior would walk by. I had always heard about all the rumors of the seniors that would torture the poor little freshmen, and I would believe them all. So back then seniors always made me nervous. Now that I am a senior, I don’t see what all the talk was about. Unless I see it with my own eyes I probably never will.

One Random Word that Describes Myself

The word that describes me is 'caring'. This word described me because I care a lot about most things where a lot of people don’t. If it comes down to things that I really care for its hard for me to let them go. I can care a lot about the little things; it can be anything from a ring to some random person I see that I hurt or upset. Whenever I see someone upset, I care enough to take time out of my day to help that person through theirs. Everyone knows it’s hard to find someone who really cares about anything anymore. I can say honestly I am one of those people who care a lot about the little things in life or in another person. It can be anywhere from helping out another person or even trying to make my life or someone else’s life better. There are often times when it’s hard to make it through a normal day, without a caring person around to help guide you and show you that something’s can be better with a friend by your side or even just having someone there to help you. Without caring people like me the world would be a lot worse than it already is. It just takes one person at a time to make a difference.

Only One Suitcase for a One Way Trip

Have you ever thought about what you would take with you if you ever had to disappear for a while, away from your friends and your family? Well I have, and these are the top ten items I would pack into a medium suitcase (24x12x10 inches).

The first thing I would bring is my engagement ring because it is a constant reminder of how much my fiancé truly loves me, and how it’s hard to live without a person who loves you as much as she does me.

The second thing I would bring is a Pentagram necklace that I got from my fiancé, she knew how much I have wanted one, and so she got me one. Whenever I wear it, it comforts me, and makes me feel like she is there with me helping me through my daily tasks, or even through my normal day.

The third thing I would bring is a ring I got after my mom passed away it was one of my moms. It has a purple heart stone on it and it means a lot to me because she use to wear it every now and again, so it would be like she was with me holding my hand.

The fourth thing I would take is my small pillow because even in those hard times my pillow is always there for me. No matter it is there for me to cry on, to lie on, or to even cuddle up to. So when the tough times get going I will need my pillow.

The fifth thing I would take is a picture of my fiancé and me from my senior pictures. To remind me of the good times we had that day whenever it came to the freezing cold weather and our pictures in the snow. It would also be a picture I could use to see her one last time because we hardly have any pictures together.

The sixth thing I would bring is a notepad/sketchpad and a pencil, because whenever I get truly bored I really love to write and draw, no matter what it is. If I am going to be rushing away it would be one of the first things I would grab, so that way whenever I get bored I will have something to do.

The seventh thing I would bring is my hunting knife/Swiss army knife, so that way whenever I need to make something or cut something I will have a trusty knife in hand so that way I won’t have to worry about using my teeth or some kind of sharp rock to cut the items that need cut.

The eighth thing I would bring is a comfortable pair of shoes, because whenever I get upset or depressed I tend to walk a lot. So I would need a comfortable pair of shoes to walk in opposed to my boots. If I had to leave my family and friends I would have to walk a lot just to get things out of my system and stop being upset about it.

The ninth thing I would bring is the Iron Fey book series so that way I wouldn’t get bored at night, and because I love to read about pixies and fey, they fascinate me. It would be nice to sit down, relax and read a book while I’m gone so that way I can escape reality.

The tenth thing I would take is my senior sweats and hoodie because they keep me warm at night and whenever it is cold. They also help me feel safe and secure whenever I am by myself. So they are my comforting clothes. If I left my friends and family I would need something to help comfort me.

Teling Tales about Money

One of the most common stories that are told whenever I get with my grandparents on my mother’s side is about money and how we never have enough of it to make us happy, or enough of it to help us with our everyday lives. My grandma and my grandpa both had to different views on money no matter what kind of view it was. Whenever my grandma and I would talk about it, it always had to do with how everyone in my immediate family always wanted/needed the money for everything. No matter it is for debt, for gas, for food, for clothes or even for our own personal expenses. Whenever it came to my dad and his girlfriend by what she saw they could never get enough of it. We usually compared it to when she was their age and money wasn’t a lot back then, especially whenever you would have to work deadly hours, all days of the week just to make it by. She would always explain how she would have to work in the cotton fields; clean other people’s houses, work in nursing homes, and keep up with her own house and family. She would describe how hard it would get at times whenever they were always trying to make ends meet. She would say no matter what they did, everything always took money and sometimes it would take more money just to do some of the simplest things. Then whenever I would talk to my grandpa about money he had the same view but a little twisted. He would describe all the jobs he had done at least once in his life just to keep food on the table no matter it be a truck driver, a cop, or even a factory worker, but he always said how being in the marines and in the Vietnam War will change your work ethnic on anything. He would describe how he had to work the Godly hours of three to four in the morning till five or six in the afternoon with that being overtime. Then there be times where he got to come home early. But the job was never done because then he would have to go help plants cotton seeds or even pick the cotton out of the fields and make some money. Both of my grandparents have told me for years that now and days we have it easy opposed to the way they had it years ago. The stories never gets old because it proves to me just how easy we have it.

Looking Up to People

Edgar Allen Poe
One person I would look up to is Edgar Allen Poe, because his life in a way reminds me of my own. It amazes me because he went through with a writing career that didn’t even seem to take off or at least until it was too late. Shortly after Poe died his work became very famous. His writings were very interesting always dark and mysterious, which reminds me of my writings whenever I write about anything. Whenever I write it usually has always been sad or some kind of dark and depressing tone to it. It just amazes me that ever after everything Poe had been through he could still always find time to write a letter or a poem that related back to his dark life. I would want to be like Poe whenever it comes to his writings. If I ever wrote poems I would hope that one day they would become very famous, no matter how dark and mysterious they were.

. "Edgar Allan Poe." Wikipedia. Wiki, 19 Feb 2013 . Web. 20 Feb 2013. <http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Edgar_Allan_Poe>.

 Julie Kagawa

Another person who has inspired my writing to be interesting is Julie Kagawa. She is a best known author, she wrote the Iron Fey Series. Just by reading her books she inspired me to be more creative with my writing, to make things more interesting, and if possible to just put things out there no matter whether or not it’s in perspective or not, just be creative.  She makes me a better person by inspiring my writing to take a more creative side. When my writing has a lot of creativeness in it, it’s hard to believe someone like me wrote something so amazing, depending on what it’s over. I would want to be like her by being able to write such detailed stories that keep the reader’s attention all throughout the story that is four books long so far, and with more to come.

. "Julie Kagawa." Wikipedia. Wikipedia, 15 Janurary 2013. Web. 25 Feb 2013. <http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Julie_Kagawa>.

 Ralph Waldo Emerson

The last person to inspire me is Ralph Waldo Emerson, because his poetry is some of the best that I have ever heard. And it inspires me by wanting to be more poetic in my work at work, whenever I decide to write letters. He amazes me by his writing as an individual whenever it comes to how he wrote his stories and his other works. He makes me want to become a better person by fixing my writing to where it is more elegant and more flow worthy. I would want to be like this individual by fixing my writing to where it sounded better on paper and out loud opposed to keeping it to myself.

. RALPH WALDO EMERSON. PBS. Web. 25 Feb 2013. http://www.pbs.org/wnet/ihas/poet/emerson.html.

The True Story

This is the true story behind my picture. . .

When my picture got taken it took place in the old Ag room, it was a bunch of us green-hands working together to get both balls around to the other side. My friend Shelbi and I both had a ball and we had to pass a ball to each other with our elbows without dropping it. It was extremely hard but it was also really funny. The entire game itself lasted maybe ten minutes, but the person who inspired the game was really cool. She was a FFA Vice President from the State of Missouri FFA Organization. She encouraged us to play the game as a team working exercise.

Groundhogs Day

If i could change one day in my life this is what i would change. . .

                If I could change one day in my life at all, I would have to choose the day that we moved into my dad’s fiancés house. I only ever regret saying “yeah, sure, that would be a great idea because I’d be closer to Brittany.” It was in July of 2012, the day of Wednesday the 18. That day was a very long and very hot day for me, especially when in the trailer you’re moving out of don’t have air conditioning and usually runs 10 degrees hotter inside. Anyway, that day had started off pretty well; I was Nikki’s house (my dad’s fiancé) and it was about 10:00am when my dad came through the door and said “we have got to move out, by tonight otherwise we cannot have our stuff.” As it were, I didn’t seem too interested into the matter, and I mean at all. My dad made me get up and go help, by the time I got there; I realized dad had already started packing up his room, which left my bathroom, my sister’s room, and the kitchen (not including the furniture in the living room). So I started off with the back bedrooms, and there were a lot of sweat coming off of my face and I had only been into the house for ten minutes. It really and truly sucked because the water we had wasn’t very cold and it tasted gross. After I got most of my sister’s room packed dad informed me that he would be back because he had to take the truck to the storage building to put things in it. By the time he got back, I had my room packed and most of the living room; I was dying of a thirst, hungry as all get out, and so ready to just relax. Things were not that simple though, because the bottle of water dad had brought me I downed in less than five seconds (or so it seemed). After we got out last box packed it was already 6:30ish and the sun was starting call in all the big nasty bugs, like mosquitoes, and June bugs, it was pretty nasty. By the time we got everything packed and ready to head back to the house, I decided to go through and check the house to make sure I didn’t find anything left behind, which there wasn’t anything. By the time we got back to Nikki’s house, where she has got excellent air conditioning. Whenever I walked into her house all that cold air hit me and I decided to do the wrong thing and sit on the couch and relax, and I started to get the shakes because I got cold way to fast, my muscles started to spaz a little bit, just enough to feel though. I also started to get really tired from the hard days of work and the cold air, but Nikki made it very clear that I was to not go to sleep. I ended up dozing off a little bit, mainly into that half-conscious stage, meaning I was asleep, but not asleep enough to forget what was going on around me. I kept hearing people yell at me telling me to wake up, but I decided better of it and started to drift off more into that deep slumber that I wanted. Right as I was about to fall asleep completely I woke to Brittany shaking me and freaking out along with Nikki because they had thought I had passed out. So all in all it was a very long day. Lol.

                I would want to change this day because it was a very long and stressful day. The day seemed to drag on, by the time the day had got done it felt like we had been there for two days.  It would affect my life today by we wouldn’t be living with Nikki, and we would still probably be living there in that trailer or we would be living with Nikki, but things would be different around me because I didn’t help out. So my dad wouldn’t rely on me as much.